For My Next Stunt, I'll Show You How To Be Happy

How's that for a title?

Did I catch your attention? You know it’s not that easy, and yet you still clicked the post, just in case.

And look, I’m not here to tell you I have the answer. But what if happiness isn’t about some massive breakthrough? What if it’s just about consistently moving in the right direction?

You remember that kids’ song, “Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream…” Just merrily taking steps in the right direction. That’s how I think about this.

I’m 33, which means I’m old enough to know I’ve figured out my way around the block. Like when I’m teaching my two-year-old how to go down the stairs, and I say:

“Daddy’s been doing this for a while. I’ll show you.”

But I’m also young enough to know I’ll understand things a lot better a year from now. Both of those things can be true at the same time, and honestly, that’s kind of freeing.

Where Financial Stress Sneaks In

As a financial planner, I’ve seen and heard just about everything. A lot of wins, and a lot of “oh shit… 3, 2, 1, panic” moments.

And I can tell you with certainty, a huge amount of stress in people’s lives comes from something financial.

Sometimes it’s taxes. Sometimes it’s expenses piling up. And sometimes it’s that your savings has turned into a junk drawer.

You know what I mean. You throw stuff in the place you’ve designated as “home” and avoid looking at it until you absolutely have to. You don’t know what’s in there, why it’s there, or what its purpose is, but you tell yourself it’s handled.

Or maybe it’s not a junk drawer. Maybe it’s more like your laundry room. You put the clothes in the washer. Then the dryer. Phew, the clothes are clean.

But then you take them out of the dryer and leave them on the floor. Half finished. A problem for another day.

We see this all the time with retirement plans. People make contributions, which is great, but then the process just stops.

They don’t really know what to do from there.

Maybe it stays in cash (yes, people do this). Maybe they invest in whatever their coworker uses. Maybe they say, “I’ll probably retire around Let’s put it in that thing.”

The real issue isn’t effort. It’s that they don’t know what’s best for them, and why.

The Moving Finish Line

Here’s another pattern I see all the time. People attach happiness to a number.

If I can save X… If I can hit two million dollars… Then I’ll be done. Then I’ll be happy.

But we all know how that game ends. You never really have enough because you never defined what enough actually is.

It’s like a cat chasing a laser. Except in this case, you’re the cat and you’re holding the laser. It’s self-inflicted.

So let’s rewind for a second. And maybe rewire how we think about all of this.

Step 1: Find Fulfillment Outside of Money

One thing that’s helped me a lot is perspective and gratitude. Growing up, I didn’t really have huge career aspirations.

I mean, as a kid I wanted to be Peyton Manning, but even then I knew yelling “Omaha” and throwing a quick slant to Marvin Harrison probably wasn’t in the cards for me.

What I really wanted was to be a dad. Fast forward about 20 years, and my wife and I were told we couldn’t have a child naturally.

So we went the IVF route.

Three full cycles. Three miscarriages. Thousands of dollars gone.

Stress. Depression. And this feeling that maybe we’d never be truly happy.

But we kept rowing the boat. And I made a deal with myself.

If we ever get pregnant and I can just be a dad, I’ll be happy.

After about five years and probably thousands of prayers, we finally had our son. And you know what happened next?

I completely forgot about the deal I made with myself.

We were happy, but then life moved on.

Work stress. Being out of shape. Feeling like we were treading water financially while everyone else looked like they were riding jet skis.

So I did a reset. I remembered the deal.

I remembered how badly I wanted to be a dad and for my wife to be a mom.

And I felt real gratitude for how far we’d come. If I rewound the clock a few years and looked back at myself, I would have given anything to be where I am right now.

That perspective changed a lot for me.

Will Smith wrote in his memoir,

“when I was poor and miserable, I had hope. When I was rich and miserable, I was despondent.”

It’s a powerful reminder that happiness doesn’t come from money. It comes from meaning, gratitude, and perspective.

Step 2: Recharge Your Battery (Don’t Just Pause)

I was sitting in church one day when the pastor said something that stuck with me. Are the things you’re doing recharging your battery, or just shutting off your brain? Both feel good, but they’re not the same.

I love a good movie or TV show. I shut off my brain and unplug. But deep down, I know it’s not actually refilling my tank. It’s just a pause while the gauge is still on empty. It’s avoiding the issue.

What actually recharges me?

Working out and working toward a goal. Golfing with friends and being outside for four hours. Calling my mom just to say hi.

Taking the family vacation we keep putting off.

Side note. Just because you don’t need a vacation doesn’t mean your spouse and kids don’t need one. It’s good to have something to look forward to.

If you never give yourself permission to recharge, things start to break down and problems multiply. Including financial ones. And it can be suffocating.

And here’s the part that might sound a little odd coming from a financial planner.

I want you to spend your money. Not recklessly. Not without thought. But intentionally.

Because this is a balancing act. You pay your bills. You save and invest for the life you want in the future. And then the rest is yours.

Money isn’t the finish line. It’s a tool.

It’s a tool to live the life you want to live. To create memories. To recharge your battery. To live with intention.

And the truth is, you only get one at bat.

If all you ever do is delay joy in the name of “someday,” you risk waking up financially secure but emotionally exhausted.

Good planning doesn’t just prepare you for later. It gives you permission to live well now, without sabotaging the future version of yourself.

Step 3: Run Your Own Damn Race

This one’s simple, but not easy. What’s the saying? Oh yeah. Comparison is the thief of joy.

When you benchmark your life against other people, you rob yourself of recognizing how far you’ve come or where you’re capable of going.

You don’t want the same things as everyone else. You don’t have the same goals or the same endgame. Your version of “enough” is unique to you.

Your friend’s finish line might be an eighty-foot yacht. Yours might be a country club membership, financial peace, and a great relationship with your family.

And that’s not settling.

That’s clarity.

Step 4: Clarity & Action

Most people are not reckless. They are just unclear. And when you are unclear, you tend to drift.

You drift with your spending. You drift with your savings. You drift with your time.

Getting clear on your goals, your priorities, and your version of enough lets you stop drifting and start designing.

And when your money has a job, when it is aligned with your values and your life, it stops being a source of stress and starts being a source of support.

Here’s what I’ve learned, personally and professionally. Happiness isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing.

Financial planning, at its best, isn’t about chasing returns or hitting arbitrary numbers. It’s about removing background stress. Creating clarity.

And aligning your money with the life you actually want to live. Not someone else’s finish line. Yours.

You don’t have to row faster. You just have to row with intention and in the right direction.

Fulfillment. Energy. Perspective. ...Clarity.

Shane Duckworth

Partner | Private Wealth Advisor

ClearMind Capital